The return of douchebags pasts

This is actually an update to the asshat i blogged about in my Merry f’in christmas post. He of the two profiles, having only one pic in his profile (well, his one decent pic on the profile he contacted me on) and who has the distinction of being the first of so many morons to give me his phone number in his initial email. I was naive then, but I still do have that phone number.
brent2brent1

Here’s a reminder of how me being a bitch ‘derailed’ any possible relationship

Brent296
12/23/2012 9:53:26 AM
Hi there, my name is Brent& i am very interested in speaking to you, i have to say that im quite impressed with what you had to say on your profile,lol … I’M at work today but i here is my number 513 371-3656, you can text or call me & if i dont hear back from you before tuesday, have a merry christmas

Me
did you make sure you confirmed your name before giving me your phone number 🙂 just a question. Aren’t you afraid that I could be a crazy stalker? Do you always give out your number in the first message? maybe it’s different for guys (maybe later I’ll give you the link to my blog about some of the creeps on here). Here’s the part where I become a **** (in some people’s opinion); so what about my profile impressed you, or tell me something we have in common or your favorite music or tv or movies
Ladies, please feel free to send use that phone number he’s so generously provided.

So as of today, no response. I had to do my daily check of the creeps that wanted to meet me and then I clicked on the meet me feature like a normally do and I came across this profile:

Insert second profile with not so flattering pics and then of course I messaged him on that profile

soccergirl79
12/25/2012 10:56:21 AM
so exactly how many profiles do you have on this site? and which picture do you actually currently look like? I’m assuming the one pic on your other profile is a few years old
skip296
12/25/2012 12:30:45 PM
I didn’t mean to have more than one profile, i put the app on my phone, i didn’t know i would end up w 2 profiles. The picture is from may of this year when i started my job, i have put on about 15 lbs since
soccergirl79
12/25/2012 1:47:25 PM
so why don’t you cancel one of them? i don’t know how stupid other women are on this site, but just so you know, since i’ve sent you messages under both names it tells me when you last logged in under that profile so I know you look at both of them. it’s a shame, cause under this profile you actually mentioned things we have in common
skip296
12/25/2012 2:21:49 PM
Ive already found someone i have things in common with, & its christmas, i dont have time to spend all day on my phone trying to do that
skip296
12/25/2012 2:23:19 PM
Its not like i changed my profile, if you look they both have the same picture & info, wth??
soccergirl79
12/25/2012 2:52:05 PM
Congrats on finding someone in the last four days. All the more reason not to give your number out to stranger

While he may in fact be telling the truth that in general, his profiles are not wildly different, I specifically called him on the fact that I can tell he checks one and then the other, so he obviously knows he has both. And if my grade school math is correct, he met someone four days ago, which would be 12/21, the same day he said he wanted to meet me, and two days later he sent me an email and gave me his phone number. I’m not saying you can’t casually date more than one person at a time, but is this person he met the reason he didn’t respond to my email, or was I just my usual demanding self?

Let’s all send him congrats on meeting someone. that phone number again is 513-371-3656. Oh, and let him know that he looks better without the extra 15 pounds

Cut to last night when my phone buzzes and I can see that damn blue box indicating a pof message and sadly, I knew from the profile name on the message exactly who it was. You never forget your first (encounter with the bullshit of online dating at least). Damn pof, if you send too many messages back and forth it starts deleting the older messages, so I did have to paraphrase the first couple messages-I sure as hell wasn’t going to get out of bed to cut and paste his messages and I promise, his first message to me last night is EXACTLY how he wrote it. A girl doesn’t forget such a sweet message
skip296
I bet u suck a mean dick

soccergirl79
Yep and you missed your chance to find out when you were a douche at christmas time

skip296
Why you have to use a word like that

skip296
5/15/2013 12:02:48 AM
That was inappropriate, I’m sorry

soccergirl79
5/15/2013 12:02:50 AM
Cause you’re a douche. Did u even remember me before you sent the message?

skip296
5/15/2013 12:04:09 AM
Yep,

soccergirl79
5/15/2013 12:05:29 AM
Not sure if that makes it better or worse

skip296
5/15/2013 12:10:09 AM
Why am I a douche? Cus I didn’t text you? Or because you said I was shady & up to something because I didn’t know I had 2 profiles which happened because the first one I did on my computer, then I got the app on my phone & I thought the other would be deleted but it didn’t. So before you accuse people of things you should at least ask someone before you accuse them, I’m actually a good person & I know I’m not that awful word you called me, so save it. You are not going to hurt my feelings no matter what you say, because I know better than that, & you don’t even know me, I may be a lot of things but a douche is not one of them…

skip296
5/15/2013 12:12:56 AM
I don’t know why I said that it just was a thought I had when I looked at your picture, I really am sorry for saying that, please forgive me, I usually don’t say things like that, to women anyway,lol

soccergirl79
5/15/2013 12:15:08 AM
Are you drunk or bipolar? If you weren’t a douchebag before, you certainly are now.

skip296
5/15/2013 12:17:29 AM
I’m just in a weird mood, its not permanent like you. You are permaweird

soccergirl79
5/15/2013 12:19:24 AM
Get a life and bother someone else or I’ll have to update my blog post about you

skip296
5/15/2013 12:22:23 AM
Oh no don’t do that, I don’t give a fuck about any of these lying, cheating, whores on here!! I love to mess with them, I don’t even take this bullshit site serious, lol

I’ll give him one thing, it is a bullshit site, but am I wrong in that the wild swings in both the tone and content of his messages was…weird? And permaweird?

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2 thoughts on “The return of douchebags pasts

  1. mugs11 May 29, 2013 at 11:24 AM Reply

    thanks dan, although in a perfect world there would be no reason you’d have to apologize for other men 🙂 I don’t know how representative I am of women in general, but if you ever decide to give online dating another chance, just keep in mind that there are a lot more women doing it than men and that means they are also receiving a lot of messages so you have to stand out from the crowd. It’s not enough to just say hi. With me, referencing something from my profile that we have in common is generally the only way to get me to respond. It shows that not only do we have something in common, but that a guy also put in the effort (as minimal as it is) to actually read what I have to say 🙂

  2. Dan May 29, 2013 at 11:06 AM Reply

    I tried internet dating off and on with zero success. I would get resentful at the fact that no women ever replied. I had no idea how much perverted creepiness you ladies had to put up with. I hate to be an apologist but on behalf of all men…our bad. I would rather not hear from anyone than be deluged with the kind of messages you described.

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