It’s one thing to be harassed online by creepy mouth breathers who you know you’ll never have to deal with in real life. I can take the vulgar messages and occasional penis pics that come my way. But it’s another thing to let your guard down and agree to meet someone in person.
Dates that feel like they’re never going to end, a guy with nothing to contribute to the conversation, or one who never shuts up, someone you end up liking more than they like you, and the occasional groping. Often times many of those negatives occur on the same date, but you chalk it up to being ‘an experience’ and move on.
But in our digital age, a date with one creep can unfortunately lead to being stalked. If you meet online there is a website they can reach you thru, if you’re paranoid like me and want to actually get to know someone before you dare meet them in person it probably means you’ve exchanged email addresses, cell phone numbers, and are facebook friends. That’s a lot of ways to try and remove someone from your life, not to mention the number of websites where your personal info may be stored and the hoops you have to go through to remove that info-someone I learned the hard way after J started creeping me out.
I’m not sure of the exact definition of stalking and I’m too lazy to look it up right now. In my book, If I’ve made it clear I no longer want to talk to you and you continue to email/call/text me, I’m gonna consider you a stalker.
I may have prematurely referred to J as a stalker, but honestly it was because they change in personality was so drastic and severe that I was extremely frightened and knew if he wasn’t technically stalking me, he definitely had the potential to be one. But after 10 days without contact I felt safe that everything had passed, and even a bit embarrassed to have used the term…
Until last night. I blocked J on my phone, but I have no idea if that prevents texts from coming through. I didn’t take steps to block his email nor did I block him on the dating site where we met (his profile headline had changed to ‘I’m a millionaire,’ which I’m pretty sure ISN’T true)and last night/early this morning he sent me a message through the site. Interesting, this time he changed his title to show he’s looking someone to go to a local amusement park when it opens in about a month.
Full disclosure: curiosity is one of my weaknesses. Yes, I’m the girl that loves to read spoilers about my favorite tv shows, my enjoyment of a book or movie isn’t diminished if I know the ending, and yes, I absolutely want to know what I’m getting for my birthday or christmas as early as is humanly possible
So I know anyone and everyone would have said, don’t read the email, nothing good could come from it. But would he be apologetic and begging for another chance? Threatening and vulgar? Drunk and spewing a lot of crap that doesn’t make sense?
So I waited until this morning to read it-I could imagine him sitting there, looking to see if it had been read, just hitting refresh over and over again, on a loop, in the dark with his eyes glazed over, and probably drunk.
I should mention here that when we first began talking on facebook, he sent me the listing for a house he was looking at that was located close enough to where I live that immediately gave me a shiver. The good news was that listing was already pending, so I figured there would be no immediate move in his future. I was further alarmed that during the initial creep out after our ONE AND ONLY DATE that he emailed me to tell me he would give me a second chance one he moved to my neighborhood (along with me growing up).
I mention this because the message he sent last night said ‘did you go back to work yet? I’m looking at getting this house.. 411 Stanley next to Starbucks in Columbia Tusculum.. can you check it out and let me know what you think?’ On its surface it doesn’t appear all that creepy without knowing the backstory. Now to amp up the creep factor, I looked at the message at 10:30 this morning and within minutes of reading it-had to cut and paste it to myself as an email to keep as proof, just in case…the message had disappeared because he blocked me. I believe on pof that if you block someone they can’t read the message, even a new one. If I’m right, that means that he had to have waited until he saw I had read it before blocking me, which again, happened within minutes of me reading it. Regardless, it just upped the creep factor.
So for now I’m going to hope it was just a weird one off and maybe he was drunk. Again, the concern is that there were 10 days between the last incident and this one, but if it happens again I may just have to start a new blog where I posted all his communications, you know one place where everything is kept to help with police reports and restraining orders and what not. Here’s hoping he remembers I have a master’s degree in criminal justice